Covenant Marriage Law -- worthy investment?

The thought of divorce never crosses our minds when we walk up to say I Do's to the love of our life, but as reality sets in, sometimes that word never leaves our mind. According to a recent article in the Miami News-Record, divorce costs state-government millions and millions of dollars annually (see http://www.miaminewsrecord.com/articles/2010/01/14/news/doc4b4fafe3d193c245225626.txt) The effects of divorce are domino in nature -- it can have many detrimental effects for the family and children involved. Say for instance your mom divorces your dad (a common thing nowadays) and your mom is left with a small child support check and has to go out and get a full time job. She doesn't make quite enough to support you and your siblings so she turns to the government for Medicaid and food stamps, which she qualifies for because she is at or below the considered poverty level. Your mom struggles and you are in a lower-income home. This puts you at risk for poverty living as an adult yourself. This also makes you 12 times more likely to be incarcerated, three times more to be expelled, and 7 times more likely to live in poor living conditions. You are also more susceptible to abuse illegal substances and develop mental health diseases.
Many state governments recognize that the high rate of divorce is costing them so much money they are stepping up and attempting to regulate morality. In the states of Louisiana, Arkansas, and Arizona, state governments are offering monetary rewards for premarital counseling and are offering couples that are tying the knot the option of signing a covenant marriage license.
This type of marriage license has many pros and cons .
Pros can include:

• Premarital counseling and counseling before ending in divorce
• No-fault divorce isn't an option
• A potential for lengthy divorce process which would in turn discourage the involving couple and possiblt cause them to re-evaluate the reasoning behind divorce.
• Divorce could have a more costly influence on the couple thus continuing to discourage the couple

Cons include:

• Religious in nature, as described by some critics
• There are three only acceptable reasons for divorce: felony, abuse, adultery and even so if it isn't prove (jail time doesn't count) the abused spouse may be forced to stay with the spouse.
• The couple may go to another state not recognizing the covenant marriage law and get a divorce.
• Court may not look twice at you if you file for divorce unless you have two years of separation and have proof you haven't been living together.
• It gives more authority to the government to regulate your marriage.

You can read one lady's scary story:

"Abuse has to be proven, and it seems only physical abuse is acceptable AND only IF the spouse is beating you up in court. Adultery, the courts will just mandate counseling for two years, and even after the counseling, if one spouse doesn't want a divorce...guess what? You must stay married. Felony, there has to be actual jail time."

"The guy I was married to informed me that as long as he doesn't hit me with a closed fist, it is NOT abuse. And it would not result in a felony arrest. And even if it DID, as long as HE didn't want to divorce, guess what? I would not get a divorce. And this is how the courts here are interpreting the law. It is scary and frightening."

"Not only that, but in cases such as mine, the future bride to be is emotionally blackmailed into a covenant marriage because "obviously you dont think this will work out and you don't love me enough and you must not want our marriage to work."

To read further in detail about Covenant Marriage Laws in the participating states you are incouraged to read this the details about the laws are enlightening.

While the sadness of high divorce rates still continue I think that perhaps steps should be taken prior to marriage. Making divorce more difficult to obtain can potentially block abused women (or men) from getting out of a dangerous situation. Lets look more into premarital counseling or maybe longer engagements. Nip the problem in the bud before it can happen. Either way the high divorce rates have a scary effect on our society and our economy. Who wants to be a statistic? If you are afraid then don't marry that person. Get advice from your parents or someone else you respect. Love is blinding. Reality is not.

Seller's Disclosure

I was 21 when I purchased my first home. It was modest, recently renovated, and cost me about $45,000. When my wife and I were married for a very short time we decided to put my bachelor pad the market and try to find a "home of our own." (This was mostly for my wife who felt like she was invading my space). We put the house on the market for $20,000 above what we owed....and three days later (before a sign could even be put up in the yard) our house sold. We walked away with a tidy little sum of cash that we used to buy furniture and pay off bad debt. Our first year of marriage seemed to be off to a great start....until we purchased our newer home on St. Louis (in Joplin). This home seemed like a step up from what we were living in .... 1700 sq ft, newer appliances, newer everything. It seemed like the smartest choice to make considering we had less than 30 days to find a home. We purchased our "first home" for $84,900. The move was exciting and we started to anxiously make plans for redecorating and some mild renovation to update the brass fixtures.
A mere eight months into our new home bliss a flood of rain fell upon Joplin and left our fully finished 700 sq ft. basement in 3 inches of water. That day I shall never forget. My wife called me frantically at work "I just walked into our back door and my tennis shoes are soaked, it looks like a pond in here." My heart sunk. The reality sank in. I called our insurance agent who could only offer a "good luck" wish for us -- we weren't in a flood zone and didn't carry flood insurance so we had to eat the costs ourselves. It was nothing short of devestating.
The following weeks we spent cleaning up our havoc of mess in our home and finally reasoned with the option "this was probably a fluke thing and it won't happen again." We laid new carpet and starting putting things back in place.
Four months later it flooded again. Only worse. Then two months later it did it again, then again, then again. It got to the point that everytime it rained we were biting our finger and toenails wondering "are we going to have to air out the basement again??" A sump pump did nothing. We had already exhausted all resources. We were up a creek with no paddle.
We had a specialist come out and hypothesize that our home had indeed flooded every year it was on the earth but left little evidence so previous owners could get away without disclosing this pertinent information. The four previous owners selling this 8 year-old home suddenly made sense! We talked to a lawyer....he laughed at us. Our options were few. The mortgage company we went through offered little help; they couldn't finance us to attempt to fix our flooding home because we owed $81,000 on the home. The cost to fix everything was between $8,000-$20,000. This was also the time the housing market seemed to be falling.
During all this mess my wife became pregnant -- a surprise and joy for both of us. Now we worried not just for us, but for the unborn child. Friends started putting thoughts in our mind about mold -- how unhealthy it was for the baby.
Finally the light seemed more bright when we spoke with FEMA who offered us $1,000 up front to fix what we could and also referred us to SBA (Small Business Administration) a branch of the government that offers loans at low interest rate for those who couldn't get approve anywhere else. Lucky for us we were at the end of our rope and SBA threw us a small loan at a low interest rate. We signed on the dotted line. With the help of SBA and my mother-in-law we put in a drainage system around our home and "fixed" the problem.
The week my daughter was brought home from the hospital the new system was being put in.
That was 16 months ago. Today our home is cozy, warm,.....and very dry.

Don't even get me started on the extra $10,000 we owe on our home.

Life of a Liberty

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